Pastor Randy's Blog

Family Matters, Podcast Resources, Orianthi Lyrics/Link

So we’re into the “Family Matters” Sermon Series.  I want the messages to be great, but also I want to give you additional resources to go deeper than time allows  in a Sunday service.  I did an “Additional Resources Page” for our Creation vs Evolution discussions and had 10-12 things (websites, books, podcasts, videos, conferences, etc.) to allow you to search for yourself.

Say you know you need help with your marriage.  Subscribing to a podcast like  “The Five Love Languages” hosted by author Dr. Gary Chapman?  (i-Tunes search “Gary Chapman” and look in podcasts: 2 resources there).  I bet it would help you!  BTW, if you don’t know how podcasts work, you don’t have to have an i-Pod to do a podcast.  Click this link for more info.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPyoJisyO2o

Another resource is called “Family Minute,” and they just sent a link to this good article simply because I signed up to receive a daily e-mail from them:

http://www.familyminute.com/article/10-ways-to-push-your-spouse-away

Sometimes the small things we do or leave undone conveys that our relationships are not truly important to us.  The Bible mentions “the little foxes that ruin the vineyards” in Song of Songs 2.  I preached about this phenomenon this past Sunday.  It’s not chains that keep relationships together; it’s hundreds of tiny strands over and over.

We must guard against allowing ourselves to fall into little bad habits that kill the joy and connection in a relationship.  It weakens a relationship; maybe to the point that it falls prey to outside influences (affairs, etc) or just become a relationship that eventually dies unless drastic help happens.  It happens all the time.  No one wants a relationship where they are constantly critiqued, criticized, teased, looked down upon, and “merely tolerated” because of all their flaws.  Spouses feel this way all the time, and then someone comes by and acts like they hung the moon…  and then they start planning an exit strategy.  Usually you don’t know until they are already packed!  You can easily lose your kids the exact same way.

Beating this back is called adding “Margin” to your relationships.

Think “MARGIN FOR ERROR;” and we ALL make errors!!

It’s like having a cushion in your bank account that keeps you from getting overdrawn.  Margin keeps you from having constant friction relationally.  It is only done intentionally, with consistently investing in your relationships and seeeing it for what it is: “He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph 5:28).  I genuinely believe that you can add daughter/son in place of “wife.”  Or father/mother, etc, etc and the timeless, Biblical truth remains.

So how can I add margin in my relationships?  Here are 5 real-world, practical ways to do that.

1.  Send a complimentary e-mail or text to your kid, your spouse, your parent or friend.  When you do, say what someone just one notch nicer than you might say. HINT: Just go one notch above.  Two might be a bit too much, and you may pull a muscle or something!  LOL

2.  Next time you are out on a date (or sitting at the dinner table with your family) mention a great memory.  Bring it up.  Talk about it.  Reminisce.  Just watch:you won’t be able to do it without smiling… and that’s the point!

3.  Let your child choose the menu instead of you.  Or let them choose the movie, or even listen to their music instead of your choice.

4.  Ladies, you initiate the romance this time.  Just sayin’…

5.   Flowers (not always roses) can be had for fairly inexpensively, but it is a great sign that you care and went to some trouble to make her day.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying that leaving if you have a rough situation is understandable.  Walking out is rarely right, and it is never as easy as you think it will be.  Although we are called to crucify the sinful nature, we are not always good at accomplishing that.  And if we have a partner/kid who doesn’t succeed at this crucifixion, watch out, because human nature is to go where you feel appreciated.  An interesting song on this topic is “According to You.”  It’s written from a “girl-to-boyfriend perspective.”  She is about to leave her boyfriend for a guy who sees her good qualities instead of all her flaws.

“I need to feel appreciated, like I’m not hated, oh no

Why can’t you see me through his eyes?

It’s too bad, you’re making me decide.”

Or you can link to the video if you wanna see the whole song – the lyrics are pretty good throughout.  OR, maybe you would just enjoy watching a 25 year old Australian girl shred on guitar… just sayin’, she’s pretty good… and yes, that really is her playing.  She was actually tapped to play on the  Michael Jackson “This Is It” tour.  Just thought it was interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu1aQvm5MrU&ob=av2e

I want my wife & my kids to know that I am their biggest fan.  I want my friends and extended family to know that I am a huge fan of their, too.  How ‘bout you?  And if that is your goal, how would you say you’re doing on that?

Maybe you can drop in a comment.  Maybe your own little bit of relationship advice that you think could be helpful.  How are we able to overlook the negative and stay positive in our relationships?  Maybe you found a resource or even a Scripture that you’ve memorized that helps you.  Or maybe you just wanna talk about the girl guitarist who shreds.  Just drop in your feedback.  You guys never fail to impress me.  Some of you outta towners, let’s hear you, too!

I hope that you’ll be at EHC for each message.  It could be that you learn a thing or two that helps your marriage or other significant relationship (kids, parents, siblings, etc) go up a couple of points on that scale of 1-10.  Let’s seek God’s help for our  most important relationships!  Why should you be involved?  Because Family Matters…

RPfromEHC